My Roller Coaster Life

Fortune Cookie Devos: Intro

2010-05-27T17:27:00.000-07:00

Fortune Cookies. In my house these little cookies (that really don't have much taste) are the highlight of Chinese Night. I find myself so excited to hand them out to everyone and see what funny little snippet is found inside. Even my boys get excited and they usually have no idea what that little piece of paper is good for. I have never entertained the idea that there is a "fortune" inside, but I have found several bits of encouragement or wisdom that I found to be relevant. In fact, I have one hanging on my refrigerator now that says, "Be an optimist. There does not seem too much use being anything else."

It never occurred to me to take them any further than that nights fun conversation starter or something cute to hang up somewhere, until a couple of weeks ago. One of the teachers at the school that I work a,t used fortune cookies as the journal prompt for that day. The kids wrote about what came to their head first when they read their "fortune". The teacher then took what they wrote and applied to how God could work in their heart and lives. I thought this was fun and a great idea for my small group of middle schoolers at church.

The more I thought about it, the more fun it sounded, so here I am today. I hope to take a "fortune" a week, match it up, or disprove it, with God's Word and then relate it to a spiritual truth needed to grow in a relationship with our Heavenly Father. I don't know about you, but I am excited about this little fortune cookie journey. I pray that you will join me on this adventure and find a new and exciting way to dig into God's "fortune cookie" to us.

New Blog Idea

2010-05-19T05:46:00.000-07:00

So, I recently realized that I really missed sharing my thoughts here. The 6th grade teacher had the student write a journal entry with a fortune cookie as the prompt. I thought that was the coolest idea! So, I have decided that once a week over the summer I will get some sort of Chinese and use the fortune cookie as my blog prompt! I am going to try and make each fortune relate to God and use it as encouragement from His Word for the week. :) I am really excited about this new adventure in His Word. So, stay tuned for Fortune Cookie Devos.

Makes Me Wonder...

2009-11-11T07:55:00.001-08:00

Tonight at youth group we are talking about the exodus and the passover. So, last night I settled into bed to begin studying and I actually took the time to pray that God would reveal what He wanted my girls to hear tonight during small group time. I am ashamed to admit it, but I often get hurried and forget to pray for that. So I began in Exodus chapter 4 when Moses packed up his family and headed for Egypt. I stumbled across verse 24-26 and got stuck. It says, " At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met {Moses} and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son's foreskin and touched {Moses'} feet with it. "Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me," she said. So the LORD let him alone."

The Lord was about to kill Moses??!!?? Now, I have never claimed to be a Bible scholar, but I had never read that before. BUT, I know I have because I have read this story a hundred times. How did I miss that? I remembered the bloody husband thing, but I never connected to the verse before it, or to what happened apparently. I read in a commentary and it all made sense, but I could not (and still am not) get over that i missed this and how random it is in scripture. There is no explanation of prior disobedience, just mentions, by the way Moses you are in big trouble. Makes me laugh a little.

I finally was able to continue reading the rest of the story, but I didn't make it past the plague of flies before I went back to read it again. I also checked all of my other Bible versions to make sure it was in all of them...it was. I stopped there and went to bed a little baffled. I was also very disappointed because I still didn't have anything to talk to my girls about regarding the passover (partly b/c i didn't even make it that far in my reading). That, coupled with the spider I saw that I couldn't find to kill, made my night's sleep a little lacking.

I was sharing this new discover with a co-worker today. As I am telling the story to her, the scene is unfolding in my head. It became a very typical occurrence in many marriages today (minus the trowing of foreskin and all).

So, God shows up and Moses didn't so what he was supposed to b/c his wife really didn't want him to. Now, he is in BIG TIME trouble and she feels bad and takes care of it herself, obviously not with a very pleasant attitude. She bails him out and saves his tail. Does that sound familiar to anyone but me? But how can a relate this story to 8th grade girls? Could this be what God revealed to me for them and I missed it until today? Is that why I couldn't get it out of my head?

Moses obviously dropped the ball. His wife had to take care of something that wasn't her responsibility to do. God always accomplishes His will, but who has to suffer in because we didn't obey in the first place? Like Pharaoh's disobedience, all of Egypt suffered for his stubbornness. And in came the Passover.

Answered prayer and a valuable life lesson rolled into one for me. How am I dropping the ball and making others suffer? That is something to ponder.

Small Victories

2009-11-02T13:18:00.000-08:00

Today one of Tyler's teachers stopped by my office on her way out. She wanted to let me know that Ty came into her class at lunch time and asked if he could eat with her. She said sure, and asked why. He said, "I don't want to get in trouble with my friends so I want to eat in here with you." What a great life lesson that he is starting to learn. Removing yourself from situations that you know you do not have the self control to handle the right way. Wow, I think we could all use a reminder of that sometimes! I know one young man who will be getting a piece of his Halloween candy tonight. :)

Simple Reminders

2009-11-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

Luke 10:38-42
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Today I began a Bible Study, A Woman After God's Own Heart, via an online blog. This will be a new kind of accountability for me and I am praying it does the trick! I am not sure why I struggle so much with spending time with the Lord in prayer and in His Word. But, I do. It has been a struggle for my entire Christian walk. I cannot think of a time where I was consistently in His Word for longer than 2 or 3 months. For me, that is just not good enough.

So, on day one, I read the Words of Christ pointing out that Mary made the better choice. I relate with Martha so much! I am always doing, doing, doing, and much of it is for the Lord. I also find myself wondering why others aren't alongside of me...doing, doing, doing. Oh, how I wish I related to Martha, the one who made the better choice. Here is where I am struggling...How to be Mary & Martha in one body! Let's face it...all of the things that I do still have to be done. But I have a feeling that I could still get them done even if I stop to spend time with my Savior. He does say that it will not return void.

So, here I go on another Bible Study adventure....I can't wait to find out what the Lord has in store for me this time. It will be round 2 with this one, I plan on finishing it this time!

Excited For Life...

2009-09-22T18:53:00.000-07:00

Thanks Dani for the title of this blog. I really am excited for life right now. I never thought that God would allow me to work in ministry after the choices I made right out of college. But, the AWESOME God that He is, He did. I have been able to dive in head first into all kinds of ministry opportunities and I am totally stoked about it. I just wanted to give a little shout out to my Heavenly Father for totally hookin' up my life! Thanks! :)

A Duh Moment!

2009-09-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

So here I am at 5:30 this morning...awake. If you are close to me you know that this is very weird. I have had trouble sleeping past 5 or so lately. I have been blaming it on my husband who snores; I feel bad getting so frustrated with him because it really isn't his fault. Yet, morning after morning I lay in bed awake for an hour until the alarm goes off and then I am totally grumpy about all of the sleep I just lost. No wonder we have such rough mornings! LOL

Same story this morning accept I didn't stay in bed for that hour. I decided, well, I am not going to sleep anyway...I might as well get up and spend some time with the Lord. While I was sitting there praying and asking for a desire for Him and thanking Him for His gracious provision, it occurred to me. DUH! You have been asking for a desire to spend time with the Lord and wishing you were one of the people who got up early and here you are! Awake at 5:00am!!

I love how the Lord works sometimes. It makes me smile. I am praying that He will keep waking me up and reminding me why I am awake. I hope that everyone has a very blessed day today, I know that I will.

Sailing Into Unknown Waters...

2009-08-31T17:16:00.000-07:00

I married my father's numero uno employee. He had worked for my dad since he was 15 and only stopped by his own choice for a year or so. I married into the ultimate job security. It was a very comforting feeling to know that my husband wasn't going to lose his job. I felt safe, secure and carefree.

Four years into our marriage, I lost my job...but that was okay. My husband still worked for daddy and another one would surely come my way. I was only worried for an hour or so and mostly I think it was just a blow to my pride. I took my time and really sought the Lord to lead me to the right path. I wasn't concerned about how long it took. I was only concerned that I ended up where He wanted me to be. It turned out to be in the opposite direction that I was headed. He picked me up, turned me around, and set me on a completely different path. Praise the Lord He did! I know that I am in the place that God had for me and I couldn't be happier.

Now, the tables have turned and my husband has lost his job. He doesn't work for daddy anymore. The downturn in the economy forced my parents to make a terribly hard decision-they had to let him go. One would think that I would have that same faith and confidence that God is leading him to something better as He did me. Guiding him to fulfill his destiny in a way that only God does. But I do not. I want to so badly, but it leaves as quickly as it comes. My heart knows that our Lord is at work, but my brain is shouting at me things like "It doesn't matter what job it is, just find one" or "There is no way that will provide enough for us."

My security that came from him working for my parents is gone. I have to trust my Heavenly Father now. I have to trust that my husband is seeking Him and listening to His voice. I have to lift him up in prayer to our Father and trust Him at His Word. Why is that so hard to do sometimes. I know I can and I desire to but the worry creeps in. I have to commit every thought and fear to Him and be in His Word so those are the words that come to mind when worry and fear and doubt raise their ugly heads and strike at me.

Oh Lord, thank you for your provision. Thank you for being there for my family and for being there to calm every worry and fear and doubt. Please guide my husband down the path that is in total obedience to You. We love and adore You! Amen.

Wisdom...It's not all about me.

2009-08-10T17:33:00.001-07:00

I have been praying for wisdom. I am focusing on James 1 at the moment, it is awesome. I have needed wisdom about a certain thing for a very long time now. It replays in my "thought closet" all day - all of these questions - where, how, what if, i just don't know. I have been waiting for wisdom to swoop in and save the day. And today it did.

However, it didn't swoop in the way I thought it would. I was waiting for it to come from me. To all of the sudden appear in my brain and viola! Problem solved! It appeared, but it came from the mouth of another. I sought wise counsel and it totally quieted the record skipping in my head.

Thank you Lord for giving us wisdom is many shapes and voices. I can't always trust the voices in my head you know!

Hard Choices

2009-08-07T12:53:00.000-07:00

Hard choices - life is full of them. Why are they the ones that are so important to make. Wouldn't it be nice if the easy no brainer choices that avoided all thought were the ones that made life what it should be. But, time after time and century after century it is proven that the difficult choices are the ones that are the best choices.

As I "grow up" I am finding this to be so true in life. I find myself longing for the days when my hard choices were which class to take or if it was really worth it for those $40 wrangler jeans. Now my choices are more like - Do I send the kids to public or private school...Can we go on this vacation or pay our bills on time...Do I call about this late bill or just ignore it until I can pay it...just to name a few.

Today I made a hard phone call. I have been putting it off for awhile. It was humbling and didn't provide me with an immediate answer, but it did provide me with a peace and calm inside my soul. I knew it was the right thing to do but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Life with God can be that way. When confronted with ourselves we have no choice but to just say - Yes Lord, I messed up and I need Your grace - please give me your grace. I am often tempted to view God as a Just Father - which He is. But as Just as He is, he is equally Loving and full of Grace and Mercy. I cannot fathom how justice and grace can exist in such a perfect balance and be extended to me - an unworthy sinner. Oh, how grateful I am for it. just when I think I have really done it this time, my Heavenly Father swoops in and picks me up. He is so faithful.

Why the beach is AWESOME!

2009-07-17T12:57:00.000-07:00

I love the beach. The beach and I have had a roller coaster type relationship. I go through phases where I love the beach and others when I wonder why anyone ever goes there. As a kid I loved the beach. My family went often and I have so many wonderful memories from it. Then, as teenager, I was not so thrilled about myself so I didn't so much like the idea of me in a bathing suit in front of hundreds of people. Then as lost some weight in my senior year and college and I loved the beach again. I went all of the time - it was so relaxing to just lay there and sleep or hang out with my friends.

Then, I became a mom. With that came extra weight and my love for the beach went away. (see the pattern of self consciousness and my feeling towards the beach) I began to use my children as the excuse though because it just wasn't safe for them there. All of the cars and weird people, and not to mention all of the creepy sea life that posed a terrible threat to their safety! How silly was I that I would use my kids to hide my real excuse for not going to the beach.

I finally gave in and figured - I better let them experience it once or twice in their life or they will be missing out so one afternoon we went - and I was sold. I put aside how awful I look in a bathing suit and it was so amazing.

We went to the beach again today and I was laying there watching the 3 boys that have stressed me out to the max this week, be able to do all of the things I have been telling them to stop doing . They were finally able to run and scream and roll all over - without worrying about getting in trouble. I figured - what a freeing feeling that must be. I wondered if they even realized that was happening. The only thing that changed was the setting and that changed everything for their little worlds.

How cool will it be when we get to heaven. I wonder if our Father will sit back and just laugh seeing us be able to do everything that we always wanted to do in complete innocence and joy. Not that we will be doing things that we get in trouble for anywhere else, but just to finally be ourselves and live life forever with out all of the restrictions and limitations that our sin and this earth place on us. To live and know that we make our Father smile just being with Him.

Oh Lord, thank you that you do not hold back anything good for us. Thank you for preparing a place for us to one day just run and be in your presence and finally experience real freedom!

Fouth of July & Camping - Warning: Lots of Pics

2009-07-10T18:46:00.001-07:00

We went camping for the 4th of July this year. It was a blast - but we did miss the fireworks! So it didn't feel quite like the 4th...but fun none the less. Here is a snap shot of our week-end. It was hot, but an extension cord and a fan make everything nice and cool!

Men at Work

Dad & Darren trying to fix the spot lights!

Dylan showing off in the golf cart. There was an awesome parade of golf carts, bikes, and wagons to celebrate the Fourth of July. That was really cool. We had a really cool family in front of us with a CD player - I think that made the walk for us.

This is our parrot friend - fun to look at but annoying to ride with. It hits the passenger in the head while riding in the golf cart. lol

What is camping with out a canoe ride...I was up front and my niece had the camera. Darren & I were the only thing pictures...besides lots of random tree shots. lol

The boys outside of the stables just after their pony ride. They found a pile of poo that grossed them out! I need to get them around stable more often!

The campfire sing along with Chip & Dale. Fun times - I forced them all to stay after the smores. Chip made poor Riley get in the picture - she tried to refuse but he wasn't having it. My guess...Chip is played by an 18-20 year old guy!

Smores!!!!

I forced them into a family photo. Once the smores where gone they were kind of over this activity! Oh -well.

I think fishing was my favorite activity - too bad we didn't catch anything and the boys broke every pole. It provided opportunity for really great pics!

I think this is my favorite picture of Dylan.

Ty & his worm. He really enjoyed the worms - I was really surprised!

Well, that is our trip in a nut shell. I would do it again in a heart beat. I hope that our family camps a lot. I think that is it good for the boys and would provide them with awesome memories as they grow up. Enough talking about growing up though...I am starting to shop for school clothes for Dylan as he starts Kindergarten in the fall....aaaaahhhhh. I ope everyone had a wonderful July 4th - I have enjoyed looking at all of your pics.

Goodnight everyone!

Neighbors

2009-07-10T18:06:00.001-07:00

Bug Spray - $5
Camping Chairs - $20
Friends & Neighbors - Priceless

When I got married and moved away from home the one thing I missed was neighbors. My family only lives 3 miles away and I can visit them whenever I want, but there is nothing like a quick bike ride(not that I have a bike - i actually walk or drive) or a walk across the yard! Until the last 2 years, our closest friend so our closes

About a year or so ago, our closest friends lived in Daytona off of 92. It was great and we love them but it was hard on both of us to hang out. Over the years our friendships kinda became distant as we were all so busy and found new groups of friends at our different churches.

I hated living in oak hill and felt like we had no friends. We were stuck next to neighbors that we didn't really know or have much in common with. I was miserable. Then...we discovered that many of our new friends from church lived right down the road! HOW AWESOME IS THAT. We were able to just go a hop skip and a jump to hang out with some awesome friends. I love how the Lord answers prayers and provides the means for close friendships.

And you know when He supplies, He does so in abundance! Next thing we know, a couple we know buys the house next door and they have 2 young kids! That is just so much fun just walking accross the yard or meeting in the middle to play in mud puddle or burn yard debris.

I love how the Lord knows us so well. He knows how some of us are cool to just chill at home, while others love being on the go. He knows how some crave companionship while others appreciate time alone in thought. He just knows every little part of all of us and I think that is awesome. Even the things that I wish people would just get about me - He does. So, don't forget to thank our Closest Friend for knowing us and loving us inspite of everything and for always being right there for us!

Spur of the Moment Fun

2009-06-27T13:22:00.000-07:00

I planned a very fun day at the beach today for my family. Darren got the boys ready at home and packed lunch while I helped my friend Jamie get VBS stuff to the church. It was still early, plenty of time to get there and have fun before the afternoon showers came rolling in.

So I thought. I got home at 10:30 (as planned) and we were out of the door in 5 minutes. By the time we got to NSB the clouds are thickening and the sky is darkening. We decided the beach wasn't a good idea. So...what to do, what to do. We were just driving down US1 looking at how much darker the sky was going north.

We remembered Spruce Creek Park & we have always wondered what it was. We have never been there so we pulled in to see if there was a place for us to picnic before the rain came. And sure enough, a pavilion! How exciting. There is a little playground and a nice place to eat, even a soda machine! As we finished lunch the rain was pouring. So, we went home....NOPE! We went for a walk to the Bird Observatory Tower and then to the fishing pier in the rain!! But the time we were done the sun was shining again. Momentarily anyway. The boys had a great time and coudl not believe that we let them go out in the rain. We saw beautiful birds, sludged through the mud, and Dylan renamed fiddler crabs "creek crabs"! Tyler decided he was done and kept asking to "get out of this place!".

I could not believe that I had never been to such a wonderful place after living here for so long. It was so beautiful and tranquil. A good place to go on a quiet date or bring a book and enjoy God's creation. We will definitely be back! Michelle - I didn't make it to Herbert Street, but you definitely helped this idea to come to life. We are going to start enjoying some of the things right in our own back yard!

Thought Closet Make-Over

2009-06-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

[note: my question mark on my keyboard doesn't work. pardon punctuation mistakes] :)

I just joined a new Bible study for the summer and I am really excited about it. The book we are studying is Me, Myself, & Lies by Jennifer Rothschild. If I am understanding it correctly, it helps us to see how we lie to ourselves with negative thoughts and how to replace it with God's promises and His Word.

I am only on day 3, but it has been incredibly eye opening. I am truly excited but I am having some mixed emotions. I know that I have this issue so I should be so happy for something to help me face it and get victory over it, right. Well, I am finding it hard at times. Why is it so hard to let go. There are times in my homework that there is a question I am supposed to answer but for some reason I just stare at it. It is like I just don't want to write down what I really feel or think about that. Part of me thinks that is absolutely ridiculous, but nevertheless, I find myself there.

The Lord is so awesome and full of grace though! He is really helping me to work through things so I know He is going to work in me BIG time this summer. I was asked to write down a list of the lies that I tell myself. So, I did. When I was done I looked at them and I said, yeah - I don't always feel like those are lies. What do I do now. As I thought about that I realized something. The author calls these thoughts in our brain our "thought closet" and the thoughts are like clothes. I came to realize that, I have been wearing these clothes for so long, that I am at times becoming them, even though it is not who I really am. Things that started out as fears at the start of my life have worked their way into a warped reality b/c I let them take control instead of giving them to the Lord. AAAHHHH No what am I to do. =o) I have spent the last couple of days trying to replace those things with what the Bible says and promises from Him. Is it easy, no. It will be a journey that's for sure. But of this I am confident: The Lord will hold my hand the whole way down this path and I know there is something awesome waiting at the end. He promises in Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I am going to meditate on that for awhile. That would do anyone some good!

What a day...

2009-06-23T19:19:00.000-07:00

So I have officially had a weird day. I am not feeling overwhelmed or super busy or irritated. It just occurred to me on my way home that i have had a few more "blunders" than usual. For easy reading, I will list them in order.

forgot one child's lunch box at home, better than both-I did that yesterday
Good Note - Wanda had an extra lunchable
took an extra half hour at lunch on accident - so i was late again.
discovered I was late all day b/c the clock in my car is WAY off
Good Note - i have amazing bosses that out up with me
couldn't find any emergenC or a good lunch. settled for a yucky salad and halls defense
wanted to go to zumba at the gym - couldn't make it in time - played volleyball instead
because I went to volleyball i got hit in the head uber hard by a nice serve
Good Note - had a great time @ new Bible study!
because of my yucky salad at lunch, had to stop at a gas station to go potty on the way home
got pulled over on the way home - had a headlight out and the wrong tag on the care
Good Note - no ticket
made it home and had to do laundry because the boys aren't allowed to bring their pillows and blankets back to school until i wash them I have forgotten them for the last 3 weeks
heard something fall while doing laundry but didn't see it. Went I put the softener in and discovered that the spray & wash was what fell and the whole bottle opened and washed with my clothes
Good Note - clothes should be stain free!

In spite it all, i feel like I had a great day. lol I am going to bed soon, expecting another great day tomorrow! Not sure anyone really cares about my random day, but it is fun to list it!

Public Disgrace

2009-06-23T06:57:00.000-07:00

Our family had a wonderful Father's Day at the beach. It was awesome, the entire family got together. Dad & Eddie went early and put up canopies and umbrellas, mom made tons of food (as usual), and there were plenty of toys for the kids. It was the perfect day! I even let my kids get in the water above their ankles, they were very excited about this.

There are a few down sides to a fun day at the beach. Sunburn and sand in your pants are a few that come to mind. I remember when I was a kid playing and sitting just where the waves break on the sand...a bathing suit full of sand and shells! Now I am a mother of 2 young boys and by the end of the day they were just crying about their, you know, hurting. I checked it out and bless their hearts, they were covered in lots of sharp little shells.

So, being the good mom that I am, I marched them straight to the shower. Without hesitation I pulled down their pants to rinse off the shells and give them a little relief from the pain. All of the sudden my mom is telling me to hurry up - people are leaving the shower area!

I am like why? She says because the boys have no clothes on! I made several people take their small daughters and leave. They were whispering and staring. I had no thought that this is unacceptable. When I was growing up their were naked children all over the beach shower area and this never bothered anyone then. I quickly wrapped them up in a towel and put them in the car. So, i will now have to figure out a new way to get the shells out of my boys pants. If anyone has any ideas, i would appreciate them!

Living Life = Cleaning House????

2009-06-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I made an alarming discovery a couple of weeks ago while I was cleaning. I had every intention to sit down a talk about it at the time of discovery, but time has been a bit of an issue. Anyway, back to my discovery.

I tend to clean my house and live my life in the same way.

For those of you who know me very well, you know this isn't a good thing. I was cleaning my bedroom & bathroom when the thought occurred to me....wow, I never clean this because no one ever sees it but me and those closest to me.

Well, life for me can be the same way at times. There are things in my life that I would like to "clean up" and have every intention of doing so. But for some reason the urgency isn't there. Now, I have some urgency to keep the hall bathroom and the kitchen clean - everyone sees that. Just the same way I strive to keep my outward appearance in order. I don't really say bad works or tell dirty jokes. I do not go to bars and night clubs. I attend church regularly and I try and encourage my friends in the Lord. But what about how I treat my family at home or spending time in prayer and Bible study? I guess those things are the bedrooms and garages of life. The things that are easy to let get messy and it not matter much.

I am going to strive to clean up those not so often seen rooms Besides, you never know when the FPL repair man will want to go into the garage or a dear friend will need to use your bathroom.

Biggest Loser - 8 Week Challenge

2009-06-08T10:17:00.000-07:00

So, my friend Jamie and I have been working really hard to get healthy and lose some weight. We started 3 weeks ago and so far I am down almost 5 pounds! it is so nice to have someone along for the ride.

We just joined a Biggest Loser 8 Week Challenge at a local gym. We will meet with a personal trainer in the morning at 8:00am. There is even free child care! I am going to be posting my progress each week here at my blog. A little extra accountability never hurt, right?
I think it is important for me to start taking care of the body that God gave me. He asks us to all over scripture. I will admit, part of this is selfish reasons but, who doesn't want to look good? However, I really do want to be healthy so I can do the work God has called me to do. I want to play in every game at Wired and play football and volleyball with my boys. Most of all I want to be a good example to my children and those that are closest to me.

So, be praying for us as we embark on this 8 week journey! I am sure it will be exciting!

From Head to Heart

2009-06-07T17:18:00.000-07:00

We had our last youth leader meeting of the school year today. Now it is time to "relax" for the summer...or so we are told. Our youth ministry is so blessed to have an intern for the summer, her name is Katie. I have really enjoyed getting to know her and am really looking forward to the summer!

So, during our meeting Kevin let us ask her questions. One question she was asked was if she would recommend her school to other students. She said yes, but then she made this statement that has had me thinking all day. She said that the one thing that she has struggled with, and seen others struggle with, at Bible college is that you get a lot of head knowledge and it doesn't always transfer to your heart. She talked about how it is sometimes hard to keep that in check and not let it go to your head. That you have all of this knowledge and no ministry experience. (That is so a paraphrase, I have 2 kids and no exact memory)

I totally got that statement. I also went to Bible college and have struggled with that myself. Oh how I wish I would have realized it then instead of years after graduation. All day I thought about a lot of things. I thought about how I handled our church split that happened while I was there. About how my friends reacted when I started dating my husband (who was not a student there). I thought about how my relationships with my friends back home suffered and how I treated my parents. I think about how I thought (and still do sometimes) I know everything about ministry.

Now that I have been actually working in ministry for a little over a year I am coming to realize that the struggle still continues. There is always that little part of me that thinks that I can do it better or I could revolutionize something. And then I am like, whoa - step back a have a reality check. Any ministry I, or anyone else is involved in is God's. All His. He moves in the heart of people to do His will. Isn't He so awesome and gracious to use us at all. Thanks God for using us in spite of ourselves. Thanks for moving in our hearts and for friends that we can count on to knock a little reality into situations!

This is new and strange...

2009-06-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been so touched, intrigued and lifted up from my friends' blogs that I thought I would give it a try myself. I have always joked with my husband that if I ever wrote a book I would call it My Roller Coaster Life. I guess this is as close as I will ever get.

God is so awesome and always working in my life, and all of ours, but what always puzzles me is the struggle within that comes with it. Why we are always trying to hold on to things while trying to reach out for Him. I am totally getting the new Jars of Clay song, If I had 2 Hands... I often wonder, what if. The ups and downs of life remind me so much of a roller coaster. Sometimes scary, sometimes exciting, sometimes things are unknown, and sometimes just riding along.

I used to think that life shouldn't be this way. That God surely didn't plan for my life to be so crazy, but as I grow and go through things I am not so sure of that anymore. I am now coming to understand that He is just sitting with me on this roller coaster life, leading me to the next one, and holding my hand all the way. As one who totally fears roller coasters in real life, that is comforting.

Well, my kids are fighting over over a blue crab stuffed animal and I think it is coming to blows. I better go for now. This as been fun...I think I like it.